32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
