Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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