We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize