no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
