if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
