Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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