I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
