fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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