Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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