I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
