He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
