bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
