im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
