Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
