Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
