I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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