I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
COCAINE IS GR8
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
