I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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