if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
