"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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