There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize
