Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
