Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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