well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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