dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
