What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
