hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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