yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
