if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
