Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
