No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
