I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
