she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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