I must be too annoying 4 u.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
