with your own penis?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
