I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
