she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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