Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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