Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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