What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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