South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
