My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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