We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
