Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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