Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
