I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
