I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
