Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
