Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
