Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
