The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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