You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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