I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
