so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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