nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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