Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
