who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
