We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
