I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
