There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
